Invisible
When we grow up in an environment where our needs are not seen or heard, we typically donβt even realize something is missing. Sometimes this causes people to
Tag: janice holland
When we grow up in an environment where our needs are not seen or heard, we typically donβt even realize something is missing. Sometimes this causes people to
Tired of being the one who always gets the short end of the stick? Tired of always being taken advantage of? Always getting stuck with people who donβt pull their weight?
You are actually playing an active roll in creating this dynamic over and over in your life. Its tied to the fawn trauma response and playing the role of rescuer to feel connection and belonging. It is fixable. You can live a life where you are loved, adored, celebrated and stand shoulder to shoulder with anyone you wish! Ive got all the resources to get you there! DM me βfawnβ and ill send a free masterclass right over to get you started π₯
Imma be real honest. Breaking old habits and patterns is a real bitch. You can do all the meditating, praying, yoga, centering, kumbaya you want but when it comes down to it, our nervous systems and our minds absolutely hate change and we self sabotage every time. This is why you feel so stuck for so long no matter how much you want and know you need to change. You need support. You need someone who knows how to help you reset your nervous system. You need someone on the outside who isnβt in the middle of the chaos and patterns embedded in your system to HELP. Change is absolutely possible. It is absolutely uncomfortable and it is absolutely worth it.
Im opening up one more retreat day! Lets get to it⦠see your patterns, unattach to their stories that play on repeat in your head and gain the tools you need for LASTING change. DM me fpr the link. Ill be in DFW in March and i wanna see you!
You canβt white knuckle your happiness. It doesnβt work to just try harderβ¦. Thatβs the fastest way to get Stuck in a shame spiral of feeling like a failure.
Your happiness comes when youβre no longer hiding from or avoiding the experiences of your life you donβt want to look at or feel.
Need help? Iβve got youβ¦. Send me a DM HELP or link in bio. You are so COURAGEOUS and so LOVED! XOXO
You want to be happy? Wondering why you canβt just be happy? I have three keysβ¦ the first is: Validate the past.
When we ignore whatβs happened to us and want to just forget about it and not talk about itβ¦. It robs us of our joy and happiness.
It takes a lot of emotional energy to keep our feelings buried so thereβs no energy left to enjoy life here and now!
I have all the keys plus all the ways to unlock your happiness and Iβd love nothing more than to give you the tools to set yourself free!
I have retreat days, a membership and a 90 day journeyβ¦. DM me to find out more and choose your adventure.
Donβt let your past rob one more day of your present and future.
You are so COURAGEOUS and so LOVED!
xoxo
Your desires are not bad. Your desires donβt lead you to βsinβ π SMHβ¦. Your desiresβ¦ those deep down dreams are what leads you out of feeling numb, stuck, and hopeless and into LIFE. Your desires were planted there by the divine. They are yoursβ¦ tailored just for you.
Many women, especially those raised in religion, were taught that our desires are bad/wrong/sinful. No, my love, your divine desires are like a secret love language between you and the source of life itself. Your desires lead you to who you are created to be.
Get curious about them and start to explore them. This curious exploration will lead you into the life youβre secretly dreaming about.
Iβm here to help! I have an in-person retreat, a membership, a 90 day transformationβ¦. All at your service to unlock your desires and into the next evolution of you! DM me to get started. Xoxo
You are so COURAGEOUS and so LOVED!
Are you ready to start feeling something other than numb or anxious?
I always thought that checking the boxes, being a good person and someone who sets and meets goals was the key to a happy life. The disappointment that came crashing down when I discovered this wasnβt true just about destroyed me.
Now Iβm on a mission to lead a movement of people who understand what will actually make them come alive and reach their highest potential while also feeling peace, contentment, joy and satisfaction.
I have a couple of spots left for my retreat. I also have a 90 day transformation that will reset your nervous system and pull you out of the rut youβre stuck in. DM me for the links. Nothing changes until you change something.
You are so courageous and so lovedβ€οΈ
Ready to be happy? I used to not@like happy people. I thought they were so annoying and didnβt really understand real life. Now I know Iβm the one who didnβt get it. I was waiting for someone else to come along and see how much pain I was in. I didnβt realize that seeing and validating that for myself was the only way to break free and finally be at peace and happy.
Are you ready to be happy? My retreat day is a great way to jumpstart the process. A whole day of working with me. Just me and you, looking at where youβre at, where you want to go, and doing the work of getting you there. A day of healing and transformation so you can finally get out of the rut youβre stuck in.
DM me for the link and dates. Just a couple left!
Iβve been thinking a lot about how heavy and overwhelming it feels just trying to live these days.
We are trying to be true to ourselves but feel so much pressure and guilt being pulled in 100 different directions.
When thinking about what I can do to help, I remembered that there have been many times over the years where I wish I could just take a time out and reset. So⦠I sat down and pulled together my most potent and transformative resources and decided to offer a few one day 1:1 in-person retreat days.
This is a day where you set aside time to allow yourself to heal and transform. You will get my undivided attention for the whole day. We will do the work together of getting to the bottom of your pain points so you can release them and begin a new trajectory.
Every time I have done one of these days for myself it has been a marker for growth, expansion and a new beginning.
I am so excited to be able to do this with a handful of people in-person in the DFW (Texas) area. Iβll be there in March! DM me for details or for the link to claim your spot. These will go fast! π₯ to choosing you and your healing. Xoxo
It wasnβt too long ago I found myself feeling empty, frustrated, and lonely even though I was living a full life. I was resenting my husband and kids for all their demands and felt drained everyday when I left work. I thought I was somehow being punished for life being really hard and the peope in it being really needy. I had this unconscious thought pattern of believing that I was just meant to be a person who takes care of others and that was the expectation God had for me. I didnβt realize this mindset was something I adopted early in life to compensate for some adverse life experiences. Religion reinforced these belief systems, and most cultures reinforce it for women as well. It was never really addressed therapy outside of the normal βself careβ talks. It slips by many clinicians because they are also stuck in this unconscious pattern. When we grow up and our needs are not met, then many of us take on a rescuer role. We learn to suppress our needs and meet the needs of others to compensate for the loss and still have a sense of belonging and acceptance. Taking care of others gives us purpose and we become really good at assessing what people need and meeting those needs. The role feels so normal and natural that we donβt even realize we are not acting as the fullest expression of our true selves. We keep our own needs and wants hidden away, hidden so deep we donβt even know what they are. We convinced ourselves long ago that seeing other people satisfied and happy is all we need. When you stay stuck in this role, eventually you reach the tipping point. The point where you are completely burnt out, stressed out and a shell of the person you thought you would be. If you are ready to learn how to end this cycle and pattern for yourself and your clients, this masterclass is for you! Learning to identify this rescuer role in yourself and your clients will be a GAME CHANGER in your effectiveness. DM me HOW for the link to the masterclass or find the link in my bio. #therapy #traumainformed #therapist #lifecoach
Therapists, coaches, spiritual leaders, healersβ¦..
Your unconscious patterns are running the show in your work unless you are bringing intentional awareness to what those patterns are and doing the necessary work to stop.
This isnβt something some people struggle with. EVERYONE struggles with this and EVERYONE will interfere with their work as a healer unless they are actively and consciously working on their own relational patterns.
This ethics workshop is about teaching you what the common patterns are that healers and helper struggle with along with practical tools and steps to interrupt those patterns and keep your professional relationships clean.
Join me in this highly informative workshop where youβll learn how to effectively help those who have been traumatized without feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, tired and anxious all the time. DM me ethics for the link or check out the link in my bio. Ethics CEUs available when you complete this powerful work.
#trauma #traumainformed #lightworker #therapist #spiritualhealer #lifecoach
Therapists, healer, spiritual leaders⦠you must educate yourself on trauma informed best practices in order to safely work with those who have experienced complex trauma.
So many are causing further harm by not understanding the vulnerabilities and needs of those who have experienced complex trauma.
This two hour training is packed full of vital information you need to be the healer and change agent you desire to be with those who have experienced trauma.
If you find yourself feeling unsure of what to do, where to start, or how to engage with a trauma survivor, this training is for you. You will walk away with strategies and activities you can immediately implement with your clients. CEUs are available upon completion. DM me βethicsβ or click the link in bio for more info or to register. See you there! #trauma #traumainformed #therapy #therapist #lifecoach #healer #ceu #education
On December 4th I decided to go on a date with an Italian. I was kind of over all the a$$ holes I was meeting but I had a therapist who told me to keep going. βMeet the Italian Janiceβ βdonβt make it a big dealββ¦. Iβm so glad I listened. My heart has healed and I have grown and learned so much about myself through getting to know him and developing a relationship. We donβt put pressure on each other or our expectations. We just take a day at a time and love who we are becoming in the process. Itβs been a fun journey and I am so grateful I decided to go on that date. We are spending the weekend in @visitsuzhou and @intercontinental to rest, relax and celebrate the people we are becomingβ₯οΈ
Adverse life experiences (trauma) have an impact on students and the entire school system. When school counselors and administrators understand the multiple ways trauma can impact all stakeholders, they are empowered to tailor their leadership and school counseling program to accurately meet the needs of students and staff.
We know that we are in unprecedented times and our delivery of school counseling services must change. It is vital that we understand the long and short term impact adversity and trauma has on human behavior so that we can assess and implement a program that meets the needs of our students.
Upon completion of this course, school counselors and leaders will understand the impact of trauma on the human nervous system. They will know the multiple ways humans respond to the threat of their sense of safety at all ages, and gain tools for implementing responsive services.
This training will provide PDF takeaways to implement in staff meetings, group counseling sessions, advisory, or individual sessions with students. This course is designed to be highly informative and practical in application.
Info to register in bio
#schoolcounselor #school #traumainformedschools #schooladministrator #internationalschool #traumatraining
Loved chatting with The Jorni Podcast. Link to listen in bio and stories.
You can thrive after betrayalπ₯π₯
Guess what? the pain of his rejection is already stored in your body. All this obsessing in your mind is your way of trying to not feel what is already there. THE ONLY way to move on and find someone who truly loves you and wonβt reject you is to feel that shit and let it go. ππ€
Face the rejection you feel in your body. It wonβt kill you, I promise. I know it seems like it will, but it is just emotion. Feel all of it, let it pass through you and then you are free. πβ€οΈ
You have nothing to run from anymore and you are free to welcome in someone who truly loves you and sees you. ποΈ
Many of us had to chase the attention of one or both of our parents. As children we internalize this as their rejection of us. We then look for other people to chase because we think thatβs all we deserve. π§π¨βπ©βπ§
The way to freedom is to feel that rejection and let it go. Spending your whole life running away from the feeling and chasing people who are unavailable to love us is no way to live. πββοΈβ
Itβs time for change! For $47 a month I will show you exactly how in The Courageous Woman Membership. Itβs like having your therapist in your back pocket, guiding you to the life you dream about. π
Link in bio π
#EmotionalHealing #SelfAcceptance #LettingGo #EmotionalRelease #LoveYourself #RejectionRecovery #HealingJourney #EmbraceEmotions #PersonalGrowth #InnerStrength #CourageousWoman #LifeTransformation #EmotionalFreedom #TherapyInYourPocket #DreamLife
Guess what? π the pain of his rejection is already stored in your body. All this obsessing in your mind is your way of trying to not feel what is already there. π© THE ONLY way to move on and find someone who truly loves you and wonβt reject you is to feel that shit and let it go. π
Face the rejection you feel in your body. It wonβt kill you, I promise. I know it seems like it will, but it is just emotion. Feel all of it, let it pass through you and then you are free. π¬οΈ
You have nothing to run from anymore and you are free to welcome in someone who truly loves you and sees you. π
Many of us had to chase the attention of one or both of our parents. As children we internalize this as their rejection of us. We then look for other people to chase because we think thatβs all we deserve. πΆββοΈπΆββοΈ
The way to freedom is to feel that rejection and let it go. Spending your whole life running away from the feeling and chasing people who are unavailable to love us is no way to live. πͺ
Itβs time for change! For $47 a month I will show you exactly how in The Courageous Woman Membership. Itβs like having your therapist in your back pocket, guiding you to the life you dream about. π
Link in bio. π²
#HealingJourney #EmotionalFreedom #LettingGo #SelfLove #Rejection #PersonalGrowth #FindYourFreedom #InnerPeace #LoveYourself #CourageousWoman #EmbraceChange #SelfDiscovery #TherapistInYourPocket #DreamLifeJourney π
I spent years trying to make myself look happy because I thought if I checked all the boxes then I would eventually feel happy.
Then I felt really guilty because I knew I should be happy. I had so many things to be thankful for....
Hereβs the deal Courageous Woman, genuine joy and happiness doesnβt come from checking boxes and it doesnβt come from worrying about how your life looks to other people.
True joy and happiness comes from cultivating the feeling within yourself. Slowing down, listening to your body and following through with what it is telling you it needs.
The pre-holiday virtual self care retreat is here! For just $23 I will host a virtual retreat on Nov 1st that will tell you how to set boundaries, navigate the sticky family situations and listen to your body so you know what you need to feel happy.
THEN I will drop truths, codes, challenges, and guidance EVERY WEEKDAY for the month of November to help you guide yourself to what you truly want.... to be Happy and full of joy this season.
β¨link in stories and bio
#HolidaySelfCare #HolidaySeason #SelfCareChallenge #FamilyDynamics #EmotionalWellness #JoyfulSeason #PreHolidayRetreat #HolidaySupport #MagicalSeason #CozyFeelings #EmotionalJourney #PositiveChanges #GuidingLight #SupportCommunity #TransformativeCoaching #StressRelief #JoyfulLife #CelebrateTheSeason #SelfCareGoals #HolidaySpirit
The holiday self care retreat and challenge is here! β¨π
Are you starting to feel a mix of anxiety with excitement over the Holiday season coming up? π
I know for many of us, we want to be excited, but it also comes with a lot of complicated feelings and emotions. ππ
I feel it too. My family has changed. My ex and I are on good terms, but I still have to navigate the disappointments and sadness during the holiday season because of all the changes. Maybe you can relate. Difficult family members, split families, empty nest, death, financial instability, and the list goes on. ππ¨βπ©βπ¦βπ¦ππ°
I know we all wish we could push pause on real life and bring out all the warm and cozy feelings during this season.... so..... ππ
I created a pre-holiday self care retreat to show us how to do just that. Maybe this year wonβt be like the magical memories of the past, but it doesnβt mean we have to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and disappointed. I have identified three topics with divine strategies to help us connect with true joy and celebration this season. ππ€
On November 13th Iβll kick off our retreat by teaching you live with all the tools and strategies you need and then follow through by dropping coaching content in our private group every weekday from Nov 13 - Dec 13. Lets come together to learn and grow while we support each other and make this the most magical season yet. π
ππ
Our Pre-Holiday retreat is just $23 USD, hereβs what you get:
π lifetime access to the powerful and transformative coaching call with codes, strategies, and tools to navigate setting boundaries, changing family dynamics, and sticky people who steal our joy
π access to a private community where I will drop coaching content every weekday of November 2023 (and a place to make new friends!)
π One guided meditation to help you calm yourself and connect to our guiding light
π a PDF notes page to help you capture all the details from my coaching so you donβt miss a thing
I canβt wait to see you there! π« link in stories and bio
When someone we place all our trust in breaks that trust, then it causes our whole world to fall apart. ππ
When my ex told me he actually never loved me (romantically), I couldnβt breathe. The room started spinning and I thought I would never be able to trust myself or anyone else ever again. ππ
I thought, I am a really empathetic person and if I couldnβt catch that he doesnβt really love me, then how can I ever trust myself and my intuition ever again? π€·ββοΈπ€
Hereβs what I learned.... this relationship isnβt the first one where someone pretends to love me so they can take advantage of what I have to offer. It was a very familiar dynamic to my nervous system. I chose him because of that familiarity. πβ
I had to learn what real connection and safety felt like in my body. Now that I know what it feels like, I can immediately assess when someone feels βoffβ. I donβt lock into the connection of the unhealthy familiar anymore. πͺπ
ββοΈ
If you are ready to rewire your nervous system, The Courageous Woman membership is for you! $47 a month gets you access to all my teaching and trainings on how to do it, access to my slack chat where I drop teachings and riffs weekly, and a community of women doing the work. Itβs like having your therapist in your back pocket 24/7. send me a βοΈ DM for the link or find in my bio. Letβs go! πͺ
#TrustBroken #HealingJourney #EmotionalRecovery #SelfTrust #EmpowerYourself #RelationshipWisdom #InnerStrength #EmotionalHealing #TrustIssues #SelfGrowth #SupportiveCommunity #MentalWellness #EmpowerWomen
Your whole reality: past, present, and future evaporates in one moment. Everything you thought was sacred and true is gone. Can you trust anything or anyone again?
Betrayal is a trauma. It activates our nervous system because it threatens our sense of safety. Everything we thought was safe, sacred and true is questioned.
Thinking about the trauma over and over will not set you free. It will never make sense, it will never seem ok.
The only way to freedom is to feel the feelings trapped in your body and let them pass through you. Feel them, breath through them, let them express themselves and they will pass on through. THEN you are free to use the wisdom gained from that experience to create a life that is safe and stable.
#BetrayalRecovery
#HealingJourney
#TrustRestored
#TraumaHealing
#EmotionalResilience
#FindingSafety
#MovingForward
#SelfHealing
#EmotionalWellness
#ReleaseThePain
#InnerStrength
#TransformationTuesday
#MindfulnessJourney
People choosing to cheat, lie, steal, or any other form of acting out is always about them playing out their unconscious pain cycles and usually never about the person they are acting out against.
When I was dealing with the betrayal of my ex, I heard over and over again, βhis behavior doesnβt actually have anything to do with you.β βhe is caught in his own pain story and cycleβ.
Is this supposed to make us feel better? The person we love the most, the person we have devoted our lives to is so caught up in their own BS that they donβt care enough about us to not act out?! This doesnβt help anyone feel better. This actually made me feel much worse.
His actions had βnothing to do with meβ so I could do absolutely nothing to help make the situation better. I couldnβt influence any kind of change.
While the statement is true, and we often need to hear it, letβs change the narrative a bit and deliver this heartbreaking news in a way that is compassionate and understanding. Offer support and next steps.
#CheatingHurt
#ToxicRelationships
#BetrayalStories
#HealingJourney
#TrustIssues
#BrokenHearted
#RelationshipStruggles
#EmotionalHealing
#MovingOn
#RecoveryProcess
#SelfCare
#HealingFromBetrayal
#MentalHealthMatters
β¨ Many of us grew up believing that our desires are bad, sinful, evil, or something that can never be trusted.
π« The desires of your heart are in fact your guiding light to the life you are meant to live. Your desires are meant to lead you out of the unconscious day to day existence and into the fully alive, conscious being you are designed to be.
Meditate on your desires, move toward your desires, allow your desires to awaken you to live a conscious life where you are co-creating with the creator.
Staying asleep to your desires by staying in your mind will not only leave you feeling disappointed and frustrated, but also means you are not sharing the full essence of who you are to the people around you who need you to fully show up.
π£ Wake up Courageous Woman and move toward your desires!
π The Courageous Woman Membership is here! Join the courageous group of women who are clearing the clutter and moving toward their fullest, most powerful life.
β¨ For $47 a month you have me (your therapist) in your back pocket, showing you how to break down all the barriers to the life of your wildest dreams.
#DesireUnleashed
#FollowYourHeart
#AwakenDesires
#ConsciousLiving
#DesireMeditation
#EmbraceYourDesires
#GuidingLight
#CoCreateWithDesires
#CourageousWoman
#FullEssence
#LiveYourDreams
#CourageousMembership
#TherapistInYourPocket
β¨ We keep waiting for permission from someone else to set boundaries, go for dreams, express who we are, or move on from a relationship that has completely broken down. Hereβs the deal Courageous Woman.... the only person who is going to give you permission is yourself.
Not your mama, your pastor, your friend, your therapist, your boo, no one. They may try, but in the end... nothing moves the needle forward until you empower yourself with your own permission and you take action.
Waiting for others is a victim mode response and will keep you stuck. If you make a choice based on what they tell you and it is not in alignment with you, you will feel resentment and frustration because of it. IT KEEPS YOU STUCK, no matter how good what they are saying sounds. Ask me how I know.....
πͺπΌ Empower yourself by making the choices you want to make in this world and watch everything line up. You are happier, your kids are happier, your life is on track and feels productive and free. EVERYTHING lines up when you are in alignment with yourself.
π The Courageous Woman Membership is here! This is where I teach you how to clear the BS and be confident in living as the woman you were designed to be. The woman who knows who she is, sets boundaries, loves herself and others, and thrives in who she was created to be.
π₯ $47 a month: Itβs like having your therapist in your back pocket everyday as you navigate the twists and turns of life.
β¨ link in bio
#CourageousWoman
#EmpowerYourself
#SetBoundaries
#TakeAction
#PermissionFromWithin
#NoMoreWaiting
#SelfEmpowerment
#OwnYourChoices
#AlignmentWithSelf
#BreakFree
#LiveYourPurpose
#SelfLoveJourney
#CourageousWomanMembership
π Get your journal out and get curious...curiosity keeps us out of shame. It does you no good to beat yourself up for allowing the BS to go on in your relationship. Do you want to grow and evolve from this experience? Do you want to move forward knowing yourself better and creating healthy relationships in the future?
π Get curious...
ππΌ Why did I like him?
ππΌ Why did I stay attached to someone who mistreated me?
ππΌ What did I like about him?
ππΌ Why did I stay so focused on the dream of what he could be that I ignored the reality of what is?
ππΌ What was my role in the relationship?
ππΌ How did I contribute to the dysfunction?
π Journal these out and then take them to your therapist and PROCESS.
You will emerge from these questions as the newest evolved woman who doesnβt take anyoneβs BS
β¨ Focusing on him just keeps you stuck in pain and suffering and keeps you unconscious to your own destructive patterns. Staying unconscious means you will repeat the pattern again. Uff, no thanks. Wake Up Courageous Woman!
#FacingFear
#SpeakYourTruth
#NoMorePretending
#EmbraceReality
#FearfulDecisions
#IntegrityMatters
#AuthenticChoices
#ConsequencesOfFear
#MessyTruth
#RealYou
#NoMorePuppet
#ChooseHonesty
#WisdomOfExperience
#courageouswoman
#healthyrelationships
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