Our God-given feminine energy is the most nourishing gift we can give to the world. Our feminine energy is stored in our bodies. When we are connected to our feminine energy we are fluid, gracious, powerful, connecting, and nurturing. It truly is a gift to the world around us. When we get stuck in our heads doing all the things we become disconnected from this incredible, energizing resource. The pressure of this season can be a lot, and it’s very tempting to go into our heads and just get things done. We start moving down the list of things to do and are happy and satisfied that we are keeping up, but it is costing us far more than we realize.
Do you love this season and want to please everyone, but resent all the expectations and pressure it brings? This usually happens because we get used to checking the boxes of what is supposed to happen instead of staying centered in love and connection. We DO the right things but we FEEL disconnection. We have bought into the lies that DOING good things makes us good people. DOING things for others means we are fulfilling our highest calling and pleasing God and the people we love.
As women it can be very difficult to stay in our bodies and truly feel our way through the season because we are distracted by the need to ensure everyone is happy with us. We focus too much on how things look – checking off boxes – rather than focusing on staying in our bodies, on how we feel and how we make our family and loved ones FEEL. We think that curating beautiful experiences translates to our family feeling loved and full of the magic of the season. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. What will make your children – and you – FEEL warm, connected, joyful and inspired, is doubling down on your commitment to keep your head and heart connected with each other. Stay in your God-given feminine energy and express love from this warm, juicy, centered place. And give from inspiration rather than obligation or guilt.
Take time each week to go into your head and plan. Write everything down in one place so you know what is coming and what needs to be done. When you have it all in one place you can make realistic choices. No, you cannot do all the things everyday. So plan what you can and cannot do. Say yes to the things that inspire you and no to the things that don’t. Outsource what you can and have a strategy for how it will all get executed. THEN you are free to live in the moment fully centered as you follow through with the plan. Have scheduled time for self care, connecting with your partner, connecting with the kids, and getting all the things done. Planning allows you to be busy but it is all intentional. With a clear and realistic plan you can remain centered with your head and body connected to one another.
We can be the best at making plans but inevitably there is always going to be something that throws the whole thing off. Can you relate? A courageous woman who is committed to staying centered with her heart can manage her triggers and not stress about the choices she makes to survive the unexpected.
For example, your mom calls and gives you the biggest guilt trip because you decided not to decorate cookies with her this year. You get tripped up and want to move into pleasing and working for love. You are tempted to say yes to her and throw your time for self care out the window. It happens to the best of us. You can choose this, but I want to be sure you understand what it costs you when you do. It is not just about this moment. You are abandoning yourself and your needs. This means when you are with your own family you are not centered. You are in your head. Your children and partner can’t feel you. Your stress level is up and you begin passing on the legacy of checking memorable boxes to convince ourselves that we are happy and have a good life rather than checking in with how we actually feel. The domino effects are huge each and every time we abandon ourselves. So maybe you say no to mom and stay committed to your plan but you self soothe by getting a Christmas Latte at Starbucks. That’s ok. You made a hard choice and this is a new feeling and you wanted to comfort or self soothe. This is NOT the time to beat yourself up for consuming extra calories and say you are a bad person. We really do weave incredibly tangled webs don’t we? Just let it be. You wanted a latte but you stuck to your plan… that’s a win! Give yourself a little smile that you needed the comfort and keep going.
Maybe you caved and went to mom’s. That doesn’t mean your whole plan for the whole week is off. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person or that you will never feel centered. It is one moment. You can get right back to centering yourself the very next moment. Life is messy. We aren’t perfect and we have to get out of black and white/ all or nothing thinking. Approach your tasks with curiosity. When I make this choice… this is how I feel… and this is how it plays out. When I make that choice… this is how I feel… and this is how it plays out…. Courageous curiosity, not shame and judgment.
If this whole thing really overwhelms you – you are not alone. Many of us are so entrenched in the idea of pleasing others and hustling for love and acceptance that we have no idea how to be “centered” or stay in our hearts. You are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you. This is a learned pattern over GENERATIONS. We are breaking it. I have so many more resources and teachings that break all of this down step by step. Click HERE to set up a call with me and I will help you map out a plan to fully restore your God-given feminine energy. In 90 days you can completely unwind all the generational patterns and change the LEGACY for you and generations to come. I can’t wait to connect with you!
You are so courageous and so loved,