When Our Channel is Clogged

There is an energetic field of creation all around us and in us. When we are connected to this life force we feel alive, full of hope, joy, and peace. This creative field holds the energy of all our hopes, dreams, and desires. When you feel desire and dreams in your body, this is your awareness of the creative field that is in you and all around you. When we are aligned with this creative force, we feel fully alive and are able to express ourselves to our highest potential. Most of us can identify at least one moment in time where it feels like life came together for us. Maybe it was an awesome presentation at work. Maybe it was getting the news that you were pregnant, or having a beautiful moment with your family that just made your heart explode. These are the moments when we are living aligned with the creative field. They feel amazing. So why aren’t we aligned with this force all the time? 

The number one reason I have found is that we struggle to maintain that connection when we have experienced pain. Connection to the creative field requires that we be open and expansive. When we have experienced painful things, we tend to close off. We go into our heads and create stories which we believe. Stories like, “I am a bad person.” Or sometimes we say, “I can’t trust people”. “He never loved me”. Or “I always get screwed over”, etc. We attach to these stories and then experience emotion around them. We feel anxious, depressed, numb, hopeless, and stay in a constant state of worry. We become vigilant in self-protection and look for any future event that might reinforce our belief. We connect with ourselves and our minds as our source of life, rather than with the creative force that is all around. Life then becomes only as big as we can see and create ourselves. Our actions are now based in fear rather than expansion and creativity. We play it safe in order to avoid more pain. What is interesting is that when avoidance of pain is our primary driving force, pain is what we feel all day. We are tethered to it. 

For example, I was really hurt by betrayal in my marriage. So if I made the decision that men are pigs and I didn’t want anything to do with them, I don’t think anyone would blame me. It was my experience, and I would have a really good reason for making that decision. However, as I move forward in life and feel the desire from the creative field for connection, love, intimacy, and desire with a man, I would then be in a double bind. I feel the desire, but I block the desire with my attachment to the story that men are pigs. I am trying to avoid more pain, but I am perpetuating pain within myself the whole time. I feel the pain of the betrayal from my ex, along with the pain of not having the desires I feel from the creative field. I keep myself in scarcity and lack and keep my world very predictable and small. 

Is it true that opening myself up to another relationship could cause more pain? Yes, absolutely. It is also true that it would open myself up to receiving joy, pleasure, fun, growth, opportunity, and a further evolution of myself. 

What if life becomes about being willing to fully experience all emotions, rather than about avoiding pain? When we remain open, we welcome the creative energy available to us, and we continue to evolve into our highest potential. In this evolution we can have the most adventurous, exciting, amazing adventures because we are open to the endless creative energy that is flowing through us. We partner with this energy and don’t just empower our own life, but the life of everyone we influence. The more connected to the life giving creative force you are, the more you make it safe for others to do the same. 

We always have a choice. You will always have the choice to stay small and cynical. You always have the choice to keep life predictable and if anyone heard your life story they would say they don’t blame you. You have a right to make that choice. However, if you want to stay committed to the choice to stay in your head and make your life only as big as you can control…. Things are as good as it gets. Are they good enough for you?

This concept made me angry at first. I wanted a third option. I wanted a way to ensure I could stay safe and still be connected to the creative energy all around me. I wanted to feel alive and predictably safe at the same time. I stayed in this space a long time. Half in and half out. I think it’s reasonable for those of us who have been really hurt. 

Here’s what I learned over time. The more I detach from my mind and just experience life, the less I need to feel safe. The more safe I feel within myself and my body and live in real time, the less pain I experience. People still do shitty things, I still experience pain and loss, but it doesn’t cost me nearly as much anymore because I have a connection to myself I’ve never had before. I don’t need anyone to complete me, save me, validate me, or make me feel ok. I feel all those things within myself. I was able to develop that reality by staying connected to the creative energy and trusting the bond. I trust the bond within myself and the creative force. I know I can generate and manifest the life of my wildest dreams as I stay in the flow of that energy. I need people, we all do. But my need for connection is just to enhance life and provide context for joy and abundance. My need for people is not about needing to feel like I belong, but about experiencing the overflow of all the things I already feel within. Joy, happiness… all forms of enough-ness. 

As you connect with yourself and the creative life force that is within, then the BS of others just doesn’t matter as much. Yes, I still get hurt. I cry. I vent. I set boundaries and I move on. I don’t create stories about what their BS means, I just feel it and move forward. I feel disappointed. I get upset when things don’t go as I envisioned they should, but I don’t create stories about what I deserve, or how my life will fall apart, or how much God must hate me. I just feel the disappointment and release it. I know that I can always tap into the creative life force and continue to evolve. Difficulties are temporary, and the plan always unfolds to support me. My divorce was so painful. However, I can look back now and be so grateful. I am free to evolve into a version of myself I could have never reached while in that relationship. There is always a silver lining, so if you are in the midst of pain, and you can’t see it… it just means the story hasn’t unfolded enough for you to be able to. I wouldn’t wish my childhood trauma on anyone, and I can’t say I am glad it happened, of course not. However, I can see the skill sets I built as a result of those experiences, and I am grateful to have them. I am grateful to be at a place where I have grieved all that little Janice went through and let it go. I feel the feelings when they still come up and then let them go. I don’t attach to the feelings or create stories about them. I just feel them and release them. 

This is how we stay open to the creative energy available to us. This is how we stay receptive and how we continue to evolve. There is no promise of no future pain. There is only the promise that you know you can experience emotion, that the emotion does pass, that we gain valuable tools and wisdom with each experience, and that we experience magic and miracles because we refuse to close ourselves off in pseudo self-protection. A self-protection that is a false sense of safety only brings more pain. So many people are unwilling to let go. So many people can’t see past the stories in their head and all the emotion that goes with those stories. Their channel remains clogged, and they can no longer feel the creative energy that they have access to every moment of every day. It’s time to evolve. Open up.

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