We are far enough into the new year to start feeling a little uncomfortable with the goals, resolutions, or intentions we set with inspiration just a couple of short weeks ago. Changing our habits and patterns is one of the HARDEST things we can do as humans. Our brains love patterns and predictability. They are efficient and provide us with a sense of control and safety. 

So many of us recognize that we want to change. We want to clear out an old pattern or way of being so we can make space for something new and more abundant. We visualize what we want and we set intentions with the determination to get there. 

One really important step in this process is holding on to our determination  once we set the intentions. Maybe you’ve decided you want to find your true love this year. You might join dating apps, talk to your friends and “put yourself out there” so you can find your soulmate. In the first week or so your energy is strong and the vision of creating the future of your dreams keeps your motivation going. 

But it doesn’t take long for our disappointment and frustration to set in. Maybe we start to get frustrated when our first swipes through the apps or getting fixed up to go to the grocery store produce no results. Fear and self doubt creep in and we start to doubt whether this is what we really want. Can you relate? 

I know I can. It’s true with diets, breaking an addiction of any kind, or any other pattern interruption you can think of. Holding on to that determination and making time and space for action during the period between not having what we are familiar with but not yet having what we want is the KEY to manifesting the life you are dreaming about. In this empty period we tend to self doubt, self sabotage and let our inner two year old come out and have the biggest tantrum. 

Here are four tips for holding on to your intentions and making the space for action while you wait for the abundance of what you want to manifest in your life. 

1. Focus on what you want.

When we start to feel discomfort it’s really easy to focus on what we don’t have. We focus on the weight we haven’t lost, the loneliness we feel, the boring job we are still stuck in, or the debt on the credit card. We start to narrow in on the frustration and bury ourselves in shame. 

Focusing on what you want means you have to get out of that shame spiral by expressing gratitude and experiencing pleasure. When you are experiencing pleasure, for example, by doing things you love, and focusing on gratitude for what you have and what is to come, it is easier to stay focused on what you want. You keep the momentum going and the faith strong. 

When you find yourself spiraling into the past, do something that brings you joy and pleasure. Express gratitude for at least one thing in your life and you will be amazed at how much easier it is to redirect your thoughts onto the goal of what you want.

2. Stay connected to the light of love within.

We have two choices within us. Love and Fear. Fear tells us we are not enough, we will never be enough, and we will never make it. 

We manage our inner fear by trying to stay in control. We only seek outcomes we think we can curate and stifle all faith that the love within us will guide us to our future dreams. 

It takes courage to trust in the love within us through faith. Fear makes us play small. Don’t let fear bully you into self doubt. 

Stay connected to the source of love and light within and use faith to guide you to where you want to go. You can do this through meditations, or any other spiritual practice that inspires you.

3. Accountability.

Join a support group, talk with your friends, hire a therapist or guiding professional, and keep yourself accountable. 

Shame, which is based in fear, makes us stay quiet about our hopes and dreams. We stay connected to the fear of failure so we don’t set ourselves up for success by talking about what we want. 

When we talk about our goals, dreams, and hopes for the future with people who support us in love, we are holding ourselves accountable and aligning ourselves with the light of love within. Shame cannot exist in the light. 

Create momentum for yourself by aligning with people on the same path you are on. You will find so much more joy and meaning in the process of transformation.

4. Accept that this is a process. We are not perfect and never will be. 

There will be days we mess up and fail. So many of us quit the moment we make a mistake. This is just another creative way of self sabotaging our progress and keeping ourselves stuck. This is fear. 

We are often terrified of being happy because being full of joy and happiness means we are in the moment and not trying to control any outcomes. Accept that there will be good days and bad days, and allow yourself to continue to reach for the light of truth within. 

Getting caught up in self defeating thoughts and actions has never got anyone anywhere that brings them peace, joy, and inspiration. Leave that low vibration energy in the past and rise! 

We will all f*ck it up. Let it go and accept that the strength you gain in the process will allow you to enjoy the destination when you arrive. 

This is deep stuff and it’s something everyone on the planet struggles with. We ALL wrestle with fear and love. Use these tips to get you through this hard phase of holding onto your determination and intentions and make space for the abundance and joy that is just around the corner. I believe in you!